My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize