C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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