how can u be prego again
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
one might say we're banned from that church
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
