Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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