Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize