But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
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So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
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She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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