I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
