did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
