I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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