i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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