she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
