omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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