if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
there was a trapeze. enough said
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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