I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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