How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
