yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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