i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize