you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think your dad took our porno
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
