4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
