and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
