Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
