I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize