i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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