HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
