at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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