So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
