How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
