Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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