I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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