I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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