Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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