the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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