we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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