If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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