She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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