How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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