So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
