she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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