you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
