You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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