Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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