Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
