Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
