I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
