let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize