dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
