You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
