dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
