the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
