Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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