Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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