Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
