I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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