She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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