adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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