i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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