the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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