my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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