i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
