Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
