p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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