it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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